Epiphany in the New Year


This is the day that we remember that

The light breaks in wondrously

In the darkness

That over





Is and can be



As in 1930 in Savanah Georgia

In the darkness of the Great Depression

As real life shrunk

So small

The lines for soup

Kept millions alive


A game of golf provided hope

And a shell shocked Captain Junuh

Was lead into the light

To see the field by a caddy

Baggar Vance

Who for $5

Knew it was not beginning to be embarrassing,

No sir, it’s been for quite some time now


Knew that for a purpose

Each one entered a simple game to surrender to what cannot be forced against a ball and a pin with a club

But like in life one surrenders to what one is called to be and do

Profound or not

To see









For it is what one alone sees

The Light of Grace

Yet there was for so many so little

So little that can be done when all that is

is loss.

So we remember.

For generations there were always many who suffered at the hands of others looking to move ahead

At the cost of

Those around them …

And who betrayed those closest to them in order to get ahead as their loved one is left vulnerable

Because the beloved could not face the reality of the world that they created out of a profound fear of the light leaving them alone

So they attack

And whip others into a frenzy to attack their loved one for fictitious events

And the loved one is



Left as good as dead

In the dark


Once again paying the price for being the one that loved unconditionally, and loves unconditionally.

So we remember.

Fortunately the darkness will not continue to overwhelm and leave one to die

For this day we remember that the Light breaks in




Is broken

Spreading against all fears

Especially the imaginary ones of abandonment that haunt


Who attack at all costs to save themselves from imaginary enemies projected onto their scapegoat.

So we remember

The Light

Loves unconditionally and inspires

Simple statements of truth:

The success of love is in the loving – it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.”


Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.”

Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, Brian Kolodiejchuk, 2007


While seeking health and hope and renewal this was possible to capture the light from:

Big Horn Sheep Looking
Big Horn Sheep Looking

To what do you aspire?

Where are you looking this day?

What hope carries you

Through the darkness

Into the light

That arrives through the cracks of life and being and love itself?


So we remember that

As for me and my household we will serve the Lord,

For by grace alone are we able to stand when we are alone in the darkness waiting for the Light of truth and justice to arrive.

So we remember






Can you remember?

Can you see?

Do you remember the light of unconditional love?

It is Epiphany,

The day we remember

That the Light of Grace, Truth and Love

Illuminates every darkness

From the spark



Holy Ones

Saints made by grace from Sinners, yet always both simultaneously.

This we remember








Even those

Who ruin

Their loved ones betrayed.

Can you remember this in your darkness?

What makes up your darkness this day of Light?

Whoever you are, the Light shines in the darkness,

So dance a dance of hope.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

Saint Mother Teresa: Something Beautiful For God, Malcolm Muggeridge, 1971


And what is between you and God is not that you need to think, believe, speak, write, do or not all that is right for God,

But that because God has long since done everything right with you,

And made you

A Saint always, even as you remain always a Sinner

And not having to earn God’s unconditional love

What will you do this day? Or any day,

Other than to respond to the greatest news

That the world has or will ever hear

How will you approach each day?

Why other than

To seek justice when it is impossible, for it is already given to you.

To speak truth when it will never be heard, for even before you were born it was heard from your lips, between the cries that wrack your life unpredictably, unwanted, to not be denied.

To offer grace even though the response is cruel, for only by grace are you still standing.

To love unconditionally even though those loved are inseparably exiled from your love, protection and security, for already unconditional love met you and carried you each day past, present and future.

To find joy even though it has been ripped from your heart by jailers and rules, for the Ruler and Jailer has already met you with a joy in you, specifically you, and all that makes up you.

For you have been accepted as you are, equipped as a Saint, a person through which the Light shines.

So Shine even when it is declared that Darkness will not be denied.

Justice, truth, grace, unconditional love, joy, and shining Light:

This is what we are made to be made of.

This is our Game, no matter the goals we take on, this is our Game,

Which cannot be won by other than surrendering to what is,

To be Saints and forgive us the Sinners.

Beneath This Sky

Beneath this sky

Warm Sunset

Warm Sunset

One can stand



And take what is

And what is not that ought be

And what definitely ought not to be


Join them

Either with force and violence

Even if polite


And manipulative



Red Oncoming NIght
Red Oncoming NIght

By Grace

With frank words that may relieve the comfortable of their abusive power

And bring comfort to those abused by being relieved of all power


Set right what is wrong,

Bring light to what is hidden in darkness,

And bring hope to those daring to expect, and hope, against all the evidence of this world.

Clouds Dance at Their Time
Clouds Dance at Their Time

Here it is quiet

As snow and ice eat all waves

Of water

And sound

And one walks without miracle

On water,

Miraculous that one is still able to walk,

With or without the blessings of holy




And the time to leave

Crawls up on the interloper
As the sun wanes, and is blown down the side of the side to its depths of hours long
Awaiting its rise

Wide Sky Cold
Wide Sky Cold

Departs once again.


I am

Edited, where ‘xxxxxx’ is inserted, to comply with a Court Order

I am.
I am a man.
I am a man who is still standing.
I am a man abused.
I am a man who was abused first by the church.
That’s not uncommon, but sinfully common.
I am a man who is still standing, but standing in the face of what has been done to me, I am standing only by the Grace of God.
I am a man.
I am.
Last night we sat and watched Antwone Fischer, the movie, by Antwone Fischer, a true story about living with abuse as a man.
It was painful to watch, and see another man survive, be given opportunity to tell his story, and to work to heal.
This is not offered and possible for many men xxxxxx.
Perhaps it is more palatable for our culture to see a man deal with abuse suffered as a child, to watch him adapt, survive, grow and flourish as he comes into adulthood, with his whole adult life ahead of him.

It’s pretty painful no matter how you cut it,
Painful to know if we switch just the genders around in true stories of men xxxxxx, the outcry of shock and dismay is almost without limit; but when the story is told with the genders as they are, xxxxxx, there is no outcry, just a concerted effort to make the man pay, with his honor, xxxxxx, with everything that can be taken from him.
And he is fair game for any lie that can be told, any attack that can be posted to social media.

Tonight we sat and watched Antwon Fischer, by Antwon Fischer, a true story about living with abuse as a man.
And I cried to know that someone else suffered …
Fought through,
And found someone who would believe him
Someone who kept him from being destroyed.
For all the men who are still standing:
May the Blessings of Christmas
(Of unconditional love, of scapegoating ended, of the promise of wholeness) and
May the Promise of the New Year
(of prosperity, truth, justice, grace, and hope)
Be yours.

Real Beauty, Real Truth, Real Christmas

Starting Advent:

We wait, taking in the celebration of light, looking through the lens of Grace that Jesus makes clear, hoping that this time, especially this time, God will come to us and set things right, before there is no more time to set things right,

That truth will be heard, the lies uncovered, life reset before the twilight zone came to visit my world.

But the world always resists Grace, since Grace comforts those disadvantaged, and disadvantages the comfortable.

There are things to see.

There are things to say.

There are truths which are being played with, and in the end the next generation learns that the lies are better than the truth.

It is like photography, everything is simple, even beautiful: until you realize something is being sacrificed: something precious; something basic and fundamental; something that seems …

Something so fundamental that there is nothing left if this is sacrificed.

We visited the mountains, to help me recover from acute bronchitis that just would not go away.

New Camper
New Camper


In the parking lot, a brand new camper compared to the ancient one we were using, having to fix it so it did not kill us.

There is something refreshing about breathing the mountain air.

But when it’s full of CO it puts a throbbing headache in the way and had I not opened the door so often that night ….

So this seemed a better option but not possible for us.

There were beautiful things,

beautiful light and snow on pine trees and clouds,

if you raised your head, which is always really hard to avoid.


On the way I caught the fog, again and again, and coming out of the fog is marvelous, for photographers, because the light … the light plays with reality to make it seem different, special.

Dull Fog
Dull Fog

It’s not always special; sometimes it’s just ordinary.

Light on the Road
Light on the Road

And then the sunlight hits the fog while the road flies by.

But then … then

It hits you.

See the Office
See the Office

And there are lots of shots that show its beauty that just hit you.

Light on Trees
Light on Trees

As you stop the light hits the trees.

Light on Trees 1
Light on Trees 1

And all that can be played with making it even more …

Light on Trees 2
Light on Trees 2

It looks great, even if it is not real.


But the picnic table is real.





Simple real in the early, early morning hours just as light starts to peak around the mountain air.

Pyramid 1
Pyramid 1

And Pyramid Mountain never looked so good, as the camera pushes through the darkness and the software reveals what the human eye could barely see.

And the software can make it look more than surreal, more than a cloudy mountain top with pines and fog, but how can more be really more when the reality is quite enough plus some?

Pyramid Real
Pyramid Real

Even if you have to wait a few hours for the sun to shine clear amid the clouds and shadows of late afternoon.

Simple skiing, now that’s real with the real mountains and clouds and snow laden pine trees … and the clear mountain air healing the bronchitis.

And that makes the waiting of Advent a waiting for truth, the truth God revealed on Christmas.

John the Baptist knew crazy but he never knew crazy, not crazy like I’ve had to suffer since ….

Breathe the fresh air.

Early Morning Mountains

Early Morning Mountains
Kathie needed something besides the ground to sleep on so she found this for a weekend to the mountains.

The basics upgraded, with highway sandings
The basics upgraded, with highway sandings

On the way it became obvious that a sway bar hitch was needed. As the roads became skating rinks at Hinton, traffic slowing to a crawl behind a smart semi driver, more than one slide and slip gave proof that this hitch more than paid for itself: without it we would have seen the ditch spinning out of control.

The Lifesaver: Getting Hitched Right
The Lifesaver: Getting Hitched Right

The unit had all sides, but the fantastic piece is this time of year the campground is deserted for the most part, and even after all the delays, we arrived, the third vehicle only in the campground. It’s mountain air, fresh, cool and quiet, next to a flowing river.

The Backside
The Backside

And me, the put it on your back or leave it behind, suddenly had on my back, well the back of my truck, a camper, not mine, to provide electricity, and warmth and comfort needed at these advanced years. And the freedom, freedom relative to the shakes, fatigue, weight loss, insomnia, and fear of the previous years … well the comparison is like night and day; death and life.

The Dark side, there’s always a dark side.
The Dark side, there’s always a dark side.

It took an awful lot of hard work to get this borrowed trailer ready for the trip, for use after being in moth balls for the last three years plus.
But here it is: all comfortable and well, pristine air in no short supply. And in the morning light, the views as always prove renewing. That’s something I’ve needed after the last 3 years. That was a darkside.

Coming Out of the Fog

This post was delayed, due to to a memory error. I’d tell you about it but I’ve forgotten what it was, something to do with WP Memory Limit.
Yesterday, driving in the early morning heavy fog, the sun started to poke through just ever so slightly and this flew by.
I stopped, pressed for time or not, to catch the light.
Can you catch light, really? Waves or particles, with bare hands, and hold it tight to own it?
Never, but one can take the light of the world through the yuck of crude meanness and, as Leonard Cohen taught me to say, celebrate the light that gets in just because of the cracks. Actually Chet Hoversten taught me to say it, in more Lutheran theological language, which has served me all my life: the Grace of God is not earned, but enters our lives, in spite of and just because we are broken people, and this Grace and favour given as a free gift, never earned, not even for believing the right things, transforms our lives, sets us free, establishes that God is for us no matter what, and then this Grace allows us to surrender and ask: so with this absolute freedom, given by none other than God, what am I going to do (what are we going to do) with this … this freedom, this life, this Grace, this unconditional forgiveness:
Are we going to try to control it and foist it on others: That is to create our own hell out of it, just saying.
Are we going to try to codify it and foist it on ourselves and others: That is to create our own hell out of it, just saying.
Are we, am I, going to simply ask each morning and each moment, how can I extend this Grace unmerited to as many people as possible this day, this moment?
Photography is easier, and more difficult: you can capture the light, and then share it. And as many know the worst weather often creates light that is the most spectacular, by being specular, and it makes possible some great photography.
Now, I was running hard, and just had fun, so this is not the BEST photography, it’s just fun, to be enjoyed:

The view that caught my eye
The view that caught my eye


The second readjustment that my rushed timeline allowed
The second readjustment that my rushed timeline allowed


The third readjustment
The third readjustment


The fourth and final take of light breaking in upon us
The fourth and final take of light breaking in upon us

The fourth and final … and I had to jump out of the freezing, fingers throbbing cold, without even time to put everything back in the cases and move on, hoping there’d be another take for the light. But within a few km the sun broke clear through from 2 hours in the sky and all that was left was to make the next deadline.
And later that night, falling asleep in my chair more than once I put the exposure bracketed files together with HDR and tweeked. So this is light and software and playing around with reality.
Not suggested to be done with God’s light in our lives. It already had endless exposures bracketed for us to see, and assembly by software or however is simply not helpful, nor needed to notice the awesome, amazing Grace …
For each of us.